Lily

Lily
Lily Tessa

Photography

Photography
Photography

Archer

Archer
Archer Leo

Archer, you're one.


Dear Archer, 

Happy birthday beautiful boy. You're 1 years old today buddy. Just how exactly has that happened? 

On this day last year me and your dad were still in the middle of frantically packing the hospital bag. We didn't have to go in for induction till 1 in the afternoon but of course we still left it all till the last minute. We never learn. I remember dropping your sister off at granny and grandads and holding back the tears as we got back in the car. She had no idea how different everything would be the next time she saw us and nor did we.

It feels like yesterday that I was sat waiting to have my waters broken, wondering about who you were. We didn't know if you were a boy or girl back then and I tried so hard to picture bringing a little sister home to Lily before switching and imagining introducing a blue bundle to our family. My mind kept going back and forth and couldn't really fix on either gender at the time which just made my curiosity even stronger. We discussed how much you'd weigh and whether you'd have hair (I dont know how but I just knew you'd be bald) and how much you might look like Lily. Then my waters were broken and the contractions roared into life and there was no time left to wonder about anything except when I was going to get my bloody epidural. (I never did, but that's a whole other tale!)

The love I felt for you when you were placed in my arms. God. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I can't explain it but it felt like I already knew you. Like we had already met. It wasn't a case of oh my god it's a boy! It was more a case of It's you... Of course it's you. It was always going to be you. Does that make much sense? I feel like it doesn't. But yeah. It was the most comforting feeling.

I've got to be honest and say that the bonding experience I had with you was completely different to with Lily. I guess in many ways it was more natural. Lily's newborn days were spent full of anxiety (read: abject terror at the prospect of raising this teeny helpless little thing) and it makes me quite sad to look back on because I wish I'd treasured those times when she was little more. I was young and clueless and overwhelmed with the feeling of responsibilty and I spent a lot of those days doubting myself over everything but luckily with you, probably because of course it was the second time round, it was more a case of knowledge is power. I appreciated every bit of the baby stage knowing from experience how quickly it goes. Every dream feed, outfit change and every milky cuddle, I've loved it all and amazingly the self doubt just wasnt there this time. I've been confident in my parenting decisions in a way I wasn't the first time around and it's allowed you to slot into our family perfectly. Like you were always here. In the way I always dreamed you would. 

Its cliche but I've blinked and this year has gone. I feel like I've barely had chance to celebrate each milestone before you were on to the next, desperate as you are to keep up with your big sister.
I can see you growing and changing before my eyes and whilst I want to grab onto you and keep you this little for a while longer it's also so amazing to see the little boy you're growing in to. Demanding but so bright and chirpy and ever so loving and cuddly.


Its funny, I always knew I wanted two children and I always knew I wanted a sibling for Lily but I didn't realise just how perfectly you would complete our family. It's like you were always meant to be here with us. Lily was always meant to have a little brother and James was always meant to have a son. And me? Well I was just always meant to have a little mummy's boy.
You've made our lives so much better Arch, I can't begin to tell you. & after a year of hell you and Lily have been our shining lights. Thankyou for making me so happy and I hope you have the best day buddy.
I love you. Happy birthday x 

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6 comments

  1. Happy Birthday Archer! Such a beautiful letters and gorgeous photos too! x #SundayBest

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  2. Oh this was so beautiful! The way you described first meeting him really made me think of P - it definitely felt like it was him all along. I can't believe he's one.. he's TOO grown up xx

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    1. Ah thankyou lovely, I got a bit emotional whilst writing it actually! I'd do anything to relive that first meeting again, just one more time..xx

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  3. Oh Abbie this is beautifully written, brought a tear to my eye - especially the part about always knowing it was him. And your photos are just perfection! You're so talented as a photographer and writer lovely.

    I can't believe how fast this year has gone and our babies are 1 so soon <3 Thanks for joining us at #sundaybest, hope to see you again tomorrow x

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  4. Oh Archer, happy birthday! Where does the time go! These are such beautiful photos, you have a real talent. Thank you for linking up to #SundayBest

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